Julie is a wife of 38 years, a mom of eight children, an author, and a speaker.
She started out going to school for psych and then ended up being a voice for the local radio station. Her career started with radio and television. She always knew that the Lord would grow that and take that into all different routes. She has been passionate about communicating, writing, and speaking.
Raising an original is one of Julie’s books and the heart behind this book is centered around the idea that all of our children are unique with so many different needs. When Julie became a mom she felt the pressure that most parents feel to raise the most perfect children. If her children were perfect then it would make her look good. But the motive in this type of thinking doesn’t lead us to understanding Gods design for our kids. It leads us to try to create a mold for them to fit into so that they might appear to be good in societies eyes. This became her heartbeat as a mom. She wants other parents to know that they have the freedom to reject the lies and pressures the world puts on them to perform.
All of our kids are different and it isn’t something we need to try to fix. Looking at all of our kids helps us to understand God in different ways as all of our kids are different faucets of Him. Julie grew to be excited to learn more about each of her children’s differences as she raised all eight of them.
She says that if we will become anthropologists of our own home and learn to understand the heart of our children we will know them so much better. Her third child was having a hard time staying in his room for bed. Nothing was working for him. Through one lens of parenting it would be easy to think he was being disobedient because he wasn’t being complaint. But the second approach is learning to understand the child’s heart. She found that he was terrified of the dark and separation. Once she understood his core fears and needs she was able to go about things differently. He still needed to learn to sleep alone but now she had the right perspectives and tools as a parent who understands her child’s heart.
She says it isn’t always about their unwillingness or disobedience. Sometimes it’s about a core need that is missing that needs to be met. We have to be willing to lay down some of our agendas and motives as parents so that we can really tune into to each of our kids hearts.
Julie suggests that we use different tools wether it be personality tools or something else so that we can know the fears, motivators, and deep desires of each child. This will help us shepherd the gifts and calling of each child as we raise them individually. Generally people including our kids are either task oriented or relationally oriented. This is a good first initial step to understanding them and then going deeper into things.
More is caught than it is taught Julie says. When we are raising kids and want them to encounter and know the Lord then as a parent we want them to see us worshipping and praying. When they see it they will want it. Julie says that your kids better be catching you reading, worshipping, and praying. Kids desire authenticity so if they don’t see you walking the walk then they won’t care about what you have to say. Kids pick up on hypocrisy.
We also need to release our kids to go find their faith. The pressure isn’t on us to make our kids fit a certain mold when they launch from our homes. We need to honor their process. The process will lead our kids to their own relationship.
How does Julie stay sane with eight kids, work, and staying intentional with it all?
She honors the ebb and flow of life. Some days and some seasons go really well and she feels on top of the world whereas other days or seasons things seem to be a lot more difficult and depleting. Being okay with the fact that every season and every day won’t be perfect will allow for a peace and a grace on your life. You got out and did it! You showed up and went after your day and life even when it is hard.
All of these amazing insights and nuggets can be found in Julie Lyles Carr’s book “Raising an Original”. Grab your copy here: http://julielylescarr.com/raising-an-original
Also while you’re at it check out her newest release that is literally such a life changing pack of content. Grab it here: http://julielylescarr.com/footnotes